"Scissorfight and Other Dangerous Games"

by MikeSOS
Sponsored In Part By
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New England's eclectic metal troupe Scissorfight is as intense as their name suggests, but don't let their tough exterior fool you.  Armed with an American history-loving lyricist whose growls measure on the Richter Scale, they not only bludgeon you with a barrage of heavy riffs and jackhammered rhythms, but you can also learn a thing or two by the diatribes that lead singer Ironlung espouses.  When speaking to the man whose beard rivals ZZ Top and whose knowledge is on an Ivy League scale, anything pretty much goes, as we're about to find out.

Mike SOS: Where did you guys get the name Scissorfight?

Ironlung: Out of the back of a porno mag.

Mike SOS: How can you best describe the sounds Scissorfight makes?

Ironlung:  Like something has gone very wrong out in the wilderness

Mike SOS: You guys seem a lot more brainy than many of the bands in your genre, how does this help and/or hurt you?

Ironlung:  I don't see how it could hurt to turn people on to something they may not have known or get interested in something new. I think Scissorfight is an excellent balance of highbrow and lowbrow culture in the spirit of someone like Iggy Pop.

Mike SOS: What musicians inspire you?

Ironlung:  I dig all kinds of music, but for the band I'd say it's something like Black Flag, Dead Kennedys, G.G. Allin, AC/DC, Led Zep, Iggy, Hendrix.  We don't have a clue about new shit or care what's going on.

Mike SOS: When you're not in Scissorfight, what do you do for fun?

Ironlung: Smoke dope and run naked in the hills like a wild beast on the verge of extinction.

Mike SOS: What's one topic that you've always wanted to write a song about and haven't yet?

Ironlung: Sodomy... no wait, did that

Mike SOS: What show sticks out in your mind as the best and worst of the band's career thus far?

Ironlung: Nothing sticks out in my mind as much as it sticks out of my pants.  I did a gig in New York where I dislocated my shoulder and did the set with it out of the socket, punching it repeatedly to go back in... that has happened twice. Our first show, our original drummer Muzzey knocked himself out.   We have played the pot rally on Boston Common twice, and we play Buzzard Jam in Laconia, New Hampshire every year during bike week.  One time, the cops showed up in riot gear and grabbed the mic out of my hands and shut down the place because of automatic weapon fire throughout the hills.

Mike SOS: What are you currently listening to?

Ironlung: Band of Gypsies, Funkadelic, Desert Sessions 7 and 8, Masters of Reality, SUBARACHNOID SPACE, Boards of Canada.

Mike SOS: What do you have coming up in the next 6 months?

Ironlung:  There will be much coming in the next few months as well as in the next few hours.

Mike SOS: What advice would you give to a band trying to make it?

Ironlung:  You mean make it, like, get laid? Punch each other in the groin.

Mike SOS: How do you feel the state of the rock world is these days, and how does Scissorfight fit into it?

Ironlung: Scissorfight has never fit into anything and does not plan to.

Mike SOS: Where would you love to play that you haven't yet?

Ironlung: On the surface of the moon... wait, we did that.

Mike SOS: What's the best and worst thing about being a musician?

Ironlung: I'm not a musician; I just swear and get fucked up. The worst thing about musicians is the smell.

Mike SOS: What's the one thing you want Scissorfight to represent musically?

Ironlung: We want to represent our own balls. We have no intention of representing anything. This is strictly a means for us to get our rocks off.

Mike SOS: Who is your least favorite band and why?

Ironlung: Who gives a f*ck?  I would not waste my time discussing bands I don't like, there are too many.

Mike SOS: What has been the best lesson being a member of Scissorfight has given  you?

Ironlung:  That if you piss your pants you will be soaking wet and uncomfortable until you take them off and throw them into the ape cage at the zoo.

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